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Deal with it

Dealing with children’s cyberbullying experiences can be challenging. Get support on how to stop cyberbullying by spotting the signs and keeping your child safe online.

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What’s on the page

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How to respond to cyberbullying

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Spotting signs of cyberbullying

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When to take immediate action

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How to report cyberbullying to a school

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Report it to the police

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Where to get counselling services

How to respond to cyberbullying

Get advice on how to help your child deal with cyberbullying should it happen.
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Whether your child is being cyberbullied or is involved in the bullying, it's important to stay calm and offer your support.

Be led by your child on actions to take to address the situation

Encourage them to continue talking and be ready to listen and take action where necessary.

Don't take away their devices unless this is what they want, as it may make them feel isolated

Whether you are reporting to a school, the police or an online platform, find out how these organisations can help you and your child resolve the situation with advice in our hub.

Dealing with cyberbullying is challenging but with the right support a child can recover and continue to build the skills to make smarter choices online.

Here are three things to take remember to support a child on cyberbullying:

• One - Be involved and have regular conversation about their online activity
• Two - Give them the tools to be prepared to deal with things they may face online
• Three - Be aware of where and how to seek help to get the right level of support

Spotting signs of cyberbullying

Your child might be reluctant to tell you that they are worried about cyberbullying, so it’s important to look out for the signs:

  • They have stopped using their electronic devices suddenly or unexpectedly
  • They seem nervous or jumpy when using their devices, or have become obsessive about being constantly online
  • Any changes in behaviour such as becoming sad, withdrawn, angry or lashing out
  • Reluctant to go to school or take part in usual social activities
  • Unexplained physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach upsets
  • They avoid discussions about what they’re doing online or who they’re talking to

What to do if your child is being cyberbullied

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When to take immediate action

If you become aware that your child is being cyberbullied, there are many things you should aim to do straight away.

Talk about it

Create opportunities to talk to your child in a relaxed environment; sometimes it can be less intense if you go for a walk or a drive rather than sitting face-to-face.

  • Stay calm and ask them how you can help
  • Ask open questions and listen without judging
  • Praise them for talking to you
  • Don’t take away their devices unless this is what they want. It’s likely to make them angry and increase feelings of sadness and isolation

If your child is upset by something they’ve experienced online, but seems to be handling the situation, then advice you can give includes:

  • Although tempting, don’t retaliate. This can have unpredictable consequences, can make arguments last longer and make it harder to see who’s in the wrong.
  • Shut down arguments online before they take hold. Try not to involve lots of others in online arguments. This includes being careful about what they post and share, and knowing when to leave a group chat or change the conversation.
  • Ask people to take down hurtful or offensive content. Your child may be successful by simply being honest about how they feel, particularly if the perpetrator didn’t mean to cause them harm.
Neel Parti from the NSPCC talks about how they are helping to tackle cyberbullying
Resources document

This guide from Facebook has some good tips on conversation starters

See guide

FAQ: Should I approach the other child’s parent or carer?

If the children involved are at your child’s school, it’s always best to talk to your child’s teacher first. You may feel you can discuss the bullying behaviour with the other child’s parent but always proceed with caution. It’s natural for a parent to defend their child, so make sure you’re calm and ask for their help to resolve the situation rather than accusing their child. Remember they may have another side to the story. Your goal should always be to stop the bullying behaviour.

Nobody likes to think that their own child could be a cyberbully, but young people can sometimes be drawn into this behaviour without realising the impact of their actions. We have tips and advice on what to do if your child is a cyberbully.

Get help rescue-ring

If you’re worried and you need help dealing with a cyberbullying situation, there are a number of resources and services for parents and carers.

our resources

FAQ: How do I take action online?

Choose to block or unfriend – In some situations, it might be best to encourage your child to block or unfriend the person that caused them hurt, particularly if they’re an anonymous user or not known to your child. Your child might be reluctant to do this if they consider the person a ‘friend’ or they know the person from school or the local community. Revisit what it means to be a friend and talk about healthy online relationships.

Report or flag upsetting content – Most social media platforms give you options for reporting or flagging content that breaches their user guidelines and this is always an option. Be aware that the thresholds for offensive content, the process for reviewing reports and the time it takes to remove content varies according to the social network, game or app.

Save the evidence– Bullying is repeated behaviour and it can be helpful to keep a record of events in case you need to seek professional help. For example, you might want to screengrab offensive content/save messages. It might not help your child to keep seeing these though, so offer to keep them somewhere safe and out of sight for them.

Click below to find out how to report cyberbullying.

facebook icon Report on Facebook
facebook icon Report on Youtube
facebook icon Report on Twitter
facebook icon Report on Instagram
facebook icon Report on Snapchat
Get help rescue-ring

If someone has acted inappropriately towards your child, particularly in a sexual way, you should report it immediately to CEOP

report to CEOP

How to report cyberbullying to the school

If the person or people doing the bullying are from your child’s school, it is a good idea to contact your child’s teachers. It’s natural for your child to worry about what the outcome of this might be, and how the school responds will vary depending on their anti-bullying policy. All schools should have a policy and may have mentors or pastoral managers who can help.

Headteacher Vic Goddard on dealing with cyberbullying in a large school environment

Tips to remember

  • Your child is the most important person – make sure their needs and wants remain central
  • Keep calm – remember the school may not be aware of what’s happening.  Ask to see child’s teacher, tutor or head of year
  • Bring evidence – keep a record of events and any evidence, such as printouts of screenshots and saved messages
  • Be goal-orientated – the priority is for the bullying to stop.  Consider practical ways that the school can help. For example, you may suggest that the school talks to students involved or provides your child with support
  • Set date and time to follow up – make sure you leave the meeting or phone call with an agreed day or time to check in on progress made.
Resources document

The Anti-bullying Alliance and Red Balloon have developed a school action plan and some template letters that you can download and use:

document DOWNLOAD PDF
document DOWNLOAD PDF

FAQ: What should I do if the bullying continues?

  • Don’t give up – the school have a legal duty to prevent all forms of bullying
  • Ask for another meeting as a matter of urgency.  This time, you may want to meet with a senior member of staff from the leadership team such as a head or deputy head
  • Bring your record of action and outcomes and any evidence of further bullying
  • Be goal-orientated – what could the school do differently? Is there any additional support they can give your child such as counselling services?
  • If necessary, follow the school complaints process
  • Don’t stop until the bullying stops
  • Develop an action plan to make sure you stay on track
  • Use template letters to get the message across
Get help rescue-ring

Red Balloon support parents of children who have self-excluded due to bullying

Visit site

Report it to the police

There is not a law against cyberbullying, but some cyberbullying activities could be criminal offences under a range of different laws including the Malicious Communications Act 1988 and the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. If the content is sexual, targeted at your child’s ethnicity, gender, disability or sexuality or if threats are being made to harm your child or incite your child to harm themselves, then consider reporting the activity to the police. Some types of bullying are illegal:

  • bullying that involves violence or assault
  • theft
  • harassment and intimidation over a period of time including calling someone names or threatening them, making abusive phone calls and sending abusive emails or text messages (one incident is not normally enough to get a conviction, however)
  • anything involving hate crimes

The response you receive will depend on the nature and severity of the incident, whether it’s likely that a crime has been committed and whether your child is at risk of harm. You can also contact the Children’s Services department in your local authority.

Resources document

Read more about cyberbullying and legal prosecution

See guide

Where to get counselling services

The experience of bullying can place a huge strain on a child with links to depression, anxiety and self- harm. As a parent, you should always take it seriously and if you have any worries about your child’s mental or physical health, see your GP. If you need help talking to them about mental health, the Mental Health Foundation and Mind have some advice.

Talk to your GP about available support. Many local counselling services offer a sliding scale of cost depending on your family income. It may even be free. This can be quicker than accessing support through your GP. For information on counselling services in your area, visit the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and make sure your child knows about ChildLine and other services available via phone, email or online chat.

Tolga Yildiz from ChildLine explains how they can help children with confidential advice
Resources document

Read this article from Young Minds to learn how can counselling services can help my child.

Read article

More to Explore

Here are some other useful articles and resources to help protect your child from online bullying

On site links

Related Web Links

Guide for parents and carers from The Diana Award with sample school letters