Protect your child

If you seem embarrassed to talk about sex and pornography your child will also feel uncomfortable and will be unlikely to let you know if they have seen sexual images. Try techniques like getting them to write things down, or start conversations when they don’t have to look you in the eye, for example, when in the car, or walking home from school.

Children may hear or see things at school which they have questions about. Use this as an opportunity to ask them more about what they know and give them the right information.

Talking about issues as they come up on TV, in movies or online can help you kick start a conversation to talk about your values and belief on these issues.

A deep discussion on pornography isn’t recommended for younger children. However, whatever the age of your children, it’s good for them to know that they can, and should, come to you if they come across something upsetting or that makes them feel uncomfortable online. Make sure that they know they can come and talk to you – and that you won’t overreact or be shocked by whatever they tell you.

Talk to them about loving sexual relationships and how to have respect for themselves and their boyfriends / girlfriends / partners.

Recognise that children are naturally curious about sex and like to explore. An interest in sex is a normal part of a child’s development. If your child is young and has come across pornography by mistake, they are much more likely to need reassurance and support.

Share this video with your child to highlight the difference between what is fantasy and real when it comes to depictions of sex in porn.

• Be reassuring when talking to them about the changes they will experience, try to relate it to your own experience
• Make sure they know you are there to answer any questions they have if they are concerned
• Using a good book could help illustrate the more technical parts of puberty

• Share your values on what a good relationship looks like, i.e. it must have trust, honesty, respect, communication, and understanding
  
• Talk with your child about what it means to be a good friend
  
• Be a good role model and give examples of some of these that they can recognise

• Talk to them about respecting boundaries and what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to touching
• Make sure they know that they have a say over their own bodies
• Talk to them explicitly about when it’s appropriate to be naked and why certain areas of the body are private and shouldn’t be touched by others
• The NSPCC PANTS activity guide is a simple tool to help you discuss this with your child
• Watch this video with your child to help them understand

• Make them aware that not all the images and content they see online is real
• Encourage them to question what they see and not take anything at face value online
• Ask them to consider who posted the content and why and how they felt about what they read or saw

• Encourage them to challenge unrealistic ideals on body image and be critical about images they see online and in the media
• Discuss their thoughts on body image and any concerns they may have about themselves
• Help them to accept bodies of all shapes and sizes and not to subscribe to an unrealistic body image ideal
• Be a role model by accepting your body and maintaining a positive attitude towards food
  and exercise

• Have an open conversation about their values and attitudes towards sex and relationships to be aware of what they believe and give them the right information
• Emphasise the importance of having love, respect, and trust in a healthy relationship and give them examples that they can look to
• Discuss the importance of ‘safe sex’ and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases
• Help them develop coping strategies when it comes to dealing with pressure from friends to watch porn,
  have sex or send nudes
• Talk about what consent looks like in a relationship
• You can encourage them to visit the Disrespect Nobody website to learn more about consent and signs of relationship abuse

• Discuss the fact that porn doesn’t always show what sex is like in real life 
• Talk about the ways that it may pressure others to look or behave in a certain way
• Encourage them not to use it as a source of ‘sexual education’ and mirror what they see
• Talk about how extreme porn can lead them to develop unrealistic expectations of sexual behaviours
• Talk about the importance of consent and the way women are portrayed

• Make sure they know the basics about biological changes of puberty so they know what to expect
• Be open and prepared to answer questions about the physical and emotional changes they’ll go through
• Reassure them if they feel insecure about any changes they experience

• Re-affirm what a healthy relationship looks like and the importance of having love, respect, and trust in a
  relationship prior to having physical contact
• Talk about how to recognise unhealthy relationships to ensure they can spot the signs and seek support

• Talk about positive body image and any concerns they have about their own body
• Be a role model – children will often mirror what they see so promoting good eating habits and being accepting of those of all shapes and sizes can help children have a positive body image
• Encourage them to be critical of media messages and images that promote thinness or unrealistic ideals

• Discuss what sexuality is, i.e. everything from their biological sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation, to pregnancy and reproduction
• Talk about how online pornography and it’s portrayal of women, consent and extreme sexual behaviour can have a negative impact on them
• Have regular conversations about the importance of consent
• Share your own experience of peer pressure to help them relate and feel more confident to make smarter decisions
• Re-affirm that although it may seem like ‘everyone’ is doing it, it’s often just talk
• Children will seek out boundaries of what is acceptable behaviour so set clear boundaries for behaviour on and offline, taking the time to clearly explain why it’s beneficial for them (even if they don’t agree)

• Talk to them about ways to stand up to peer pressure that may put them at risk (such as pressure to send nudes or to take part in sexual activity)